I'm really sad right now.

My mom's birthday was last weekend - likely part of the reason why vacation happened last weekend. And then the anniversary of her death is next Saturday. So that's two reeeaallly crappy weekends really close together!

I'm not really sure what to do with this sadness. I don't really so much want to knit with it, except for boring things that hurt my hands. But I've been cooking a lot lately, and I think that's it. I'm baking bread and actually preparing meals. More so on the weekends. Like breakfast. I make a good breakfast. We had pancakes this morning - we haven't had pancakes in so long, it was a delicious treat. And I've got something marinating for dinner tonight. Marinating - ha! What a hoot.

Jojo is in town. He had his chest restructureing surgery this week. He look fantastic. With his changed face, physique, etc and his posture - looks like he always should have, I guess. I think we're going to try and hang out again before he leaves to go back to Northhampton. It's so strange to see him. It's a "blast from the past" combined with a strange voyeuristic glimpse into what my life could have been had a made a single different decision, or two. It's interesting, and different, and strangely .. strange.

We got another window unit. So now the whole house has air conditioning. It's cold. I mostly love it - except for that sometimes it gets too cold, because I'm just so used to the heat now..

We went on vacation. Just a little one. But it was pretty aaaaamazing.

We stayed at Ravenwood Castle in Hocking Hills for the weekend. We both took Friday off work, and headed down there. Due to problems that were entirely (not) my fault, we totally and completely missed our exit off the freeway - but that's because we never actually passed it. So we grabbed a map, and made our own way. It only took twice as long as expected, but we got to drive through so much green and over so many hills it was all okay. Except for where the road closed, and we had to backtrack 30 minutes. That was stressful, but we all survived.

Then we checked in at our little cottage which was delightful and cozy with a huuge bathtub. And ran over to Old Man's Cave for some hiking and walking around and being part of the green. We took the long way back, intending for dinner in Rockbridge, but there weren't actually any places to eat there. So, to the 'city' we went, where there was one restaurant open. And the food was delightful. Well, the Goat Cheese Walnut Potato Skins were. The rest was just okay.

Saturday involved getting up with the sun (I'm not very good at sleeping in anymore, it seems) and a lesiurely breakfast on the back deck of the castle. We stopped at various shit shops, and purchased various knick knacks. We headed into Nelsonville, got a coffee, walked around the town square. Nelsonville Pottery had a fantastic statue of a lady I just had to have, as well as coffee bean soap! The Spinning Turtle was delightful, with a pretty large selection. Both high end and moderate yarns. As well as SPINDLES and roving. So I purchased an Ashford Turkish drop spindle and a couple ounces of roving! I've been denying the desire to spin for so long; it felt good to give in to a bit of temptation. I haven't gotten very far yet, though. The shop owner gave me an "introductory lesson" except that she was terribly flighty and all over the place - and didn't once let my touch the spindle in her presence. So it was largely useless. I'm bumble through, though, once I have the ability to sit and focus. Pants got a potholder loom, and some cotton loops. She's making potholders pretty obsessively right now; it's darling. We broke out some pretty cotton yarn the other night, and wove with that instead of the loops. The thing came out pretty, and feels just about right. I wouldn't use it to take our cast iron pans out of the oven, though.

I've been baking bread! It's fun. Especially since we don't/can't eat store bought bread. It's nice to have it around, again, for little nibbles and morning toast with eggs. I used it to make Toad in the Hole for breakfast on Monday; it was amazing. I need that all the time for breakfast. Because it uses different flours than standard bread, it's incredibly different. But, the last time I ate store bought bread, I thought the texture was wierd. Ha. Funny how quickly paradigms can change.

On the needles right now I've got my Muddy Waters scarf, which is coming along nicely. It's probably about 18" long right now. I started a sock with Comfort sock before vacation, but I'm only about 4 rounds into the to right now. I'm still working on a grocery bag. I completed one, but I disappointed with how much stretch is in it. I might just end up working a pattern of my own I've been working on in my head. We'll see...

Well, that ball game or two could happen. We went to the game last night, and it was delightful. There were actually people in the stands, they were paying attention, playing along, singing along, and it was fun! And they won, so that helps too. It was actually a good game. Because we got there late and the place where we usually sit was pretty full (and I need lots of room - yarn, and all) we sat on the other side of the stadium, wwwwaaaaayyy up high. And knitting at that altitude wasn't working, so instead I paid attention to the game. And it was a good game to watch, so that was delightful. Broken bats, and all. I even have a favorite player now (but I think that's only because I sing a song about his name.)

Regardless. Happy Father's Day. Had lunch with Dad yesterday. He brought his new girlfriend. Whatever. She doesn't talk much, so. Apparently Grandpa (my Mom's dad) is regretful about the life he's lived and wants his family back. Which, whatever. I'll give the dying man his last wish, but he'd better not think I'm going to make all the effort here. He's treated his entire family like second class citizens since I was 12. Whatever.

No, not bitter at all. I'm almost finished with the heart for A & J. They're so damn adorable it's disgusting. I need to write something for them too, perhaps something like an intention prayer mantra sort of thing. Filled with goodness, desire, respect, etc. More than a simple wish-you-well! card. I should work on that now...

My friends Amy and Jennifer are getting married! In 10 days. Which is super exciting. They've asked that, instead of gifts, to donate dollars to the marriage equality fund, or something. But that's so boring! So I've come up with a cute little gift idea - small stuffed hearts! Just a few, something tiny and small. And I can use some of the rest of that rainbow yarn from Bam. What I should do is make a bunch, slap them on pin backs, and give them away to people for Pride. Well, make them flat, though. Don't stuff them. That'd be cuuuuute. Way cute. People would love them! Ahh!

But I hate Pride weekend. And Comfest. And all that crap. And it's all coming up, waay too soon. I don't really care to deal with the mess, is all.

Knitters' Connection is this weekend. I'll probably go hit the marketplace tonight, if I leave early enough. Tomorrow looks like it'll be a good day for bike riding, so I'll probably get in some of that. What else... Perhaps a ball game or two. I like baseball. :)

I took a personal day yesterday. We went to the ball game tuesday night, and being outside for that long was just more than I was medicated for. So I was groggy and my face felt like I was going to explode. But whatever.

Got my package shipped off to El Salvador. That's good. It took long enough, but that's okay. I think I did okay on the book shopping. That was the most difficult thing, ever. I tried hard to pick out books for her, and not just books that I wanted to read / would enjoy reading. I need to pay off my library fines, and get some books reserved. I want to read : Gag Rule, The World Is Flat, The Big Switch, The Anatomist, and The Grave Secrets of Dinosaurs. I'm sure there are other things, too. Like things in the vein of Freakenomics.

I hear that Chrissy Hindes intends to open a restaurant in Columbus. It's actually been the gossip for a while now. I'd like that. All the veggie restaurants are pretty sub-par. Well, the affordable ones, at least. I'd like to have a place within walking distance that doesn't gross me out and isn't a chain. I mean, Northstar is pretty good, but the service sucks and there's no variety, and Zilla can only actually eat one thing on the menu. Anyway, that would be okay.

So work isn't busy anymore. It goes like that, though. We'll be slammed for three weeks, and then not have anything to do for the next week. Not having anything to do is actually more stressful than too much, though, I think. Regardless.

We're supposed to go to the baseball game tonight, but that might not happen. It's raining now, and if it's raining tonight, we're not going. There was a story in the paper yesterday about the increase in ticket prices for next year - we were worried that prices would go up so much, we wouldn't b able to go as much next year as we've gone this year. Well, we've been to 6 or 7 games this year. But it looks like the game ticket prices will be about the same for general admission, but the seats will be fewer and higher up. Eh, whatever. Plus, we can almost walk to the new location. We could definitely take the bus - and since parking will be a complete nightmare, we probably will. So much easier... I don't think the bus goes out to the current stadium.

I think she likes going to the games as much as she does is because of the parking lot. It's big - and mostly empty - so she gets to practice driving the car before we go in. She's starting to get it, which is good. I think she'd been better off if someone else was teaching her - someone who wouldn't let her quit half-way through. She tried to drive home from the grocery the other day - but there was a little hill at an intersection, and she got frustrated. I think it's funny, but don't tell her that.

I didn't work on anything that night - too hot. We spent the evening watching a movie on the computer in the air conditioned bedroom. We need another window unit for the rest of the house, otherwise we won't survive the summer. We'll have to move the TV into the bedroom just to get by.. The tv, and the rat. He's not doing well with the heat.. Actually, I should move him tonight. ...

Suuuummer.

It was miserable yesterday. I loved it. Zilla was at work most of the day, so I was home alone. I sat on the couch and crocheted my bag alll daaay long. And watched movies. Bad ones. Like The Princess Diaries, which I loooove. And Matilda, which I love equally as much!

I didn't agree with the end of the pattern, but I rarely agree with crochet patterns. So I 'fixed' it. I like the way it turned out, but I'm still thinking about making a different style bag, definitely a different mesh pattern, just to compare. Then I'm going to try Kool-Aid dying, and then if that works, I'm going to knit a little bit for it. Delightful.

Then we went swimming last night! One of Zilla's aunts has a pool, so we went over to her house and played. It was lovely. I need a new bathing suit, though. So does Zilla. I've really gotten to like her family. It took some time to get used to them (there are just so many!) especially when they're all together. When they're apart, they're a lot like my mom's family. Which makes sense, because apparently they grew up close to each other. This aunt, though, I really like. She might be my favorite. I like her husband, too. And her kids are okay. Again, they're all better individually, rather than at a large gathering. That's probably normal.

After swimming and dinner, we all sat outside talking. I worked on my Falling Water scarf. Sometimes I forget the simple row inbetween direction changes; once, I didn't switch directions. Eh, well. Handmade, right? I really like how it's turning out, though. Once it's all blocked and stretched out it will be lovely. I'd never wear it, but I'm sure there's someone I know who will. Issue is that it's a moderately femme pattern, but the colorway I'm using is really butch. Zilla suggested a friend of hers, and I think he's perfect. Plus, if he doesn't like it, his wife will. The last time we saw them (they live in NC now) she was attempting to learn to knit, but she frustrates easily. Maybe it could give her a little spur of inspiration. :)

trying.

Work has been nuts. The last 3 weeks have just been crazy. The whole economic downturn thing has made us busier than ever. Since I bid the work that keeps the company busy, an economic downturn actually (for a while, at least) means greater job security. Not that I'm worried about losing my job in times of economic hardship, but. You know. Unless I seriously screw something up, it's unlikely.

I haven't been as productive on the crafting front. Being at work early, late, and on the weekends has cut into relaxing time. I did finish Jen's Fetching - and I like them. I worked most of those at Clipper's games. Zilla likes baseball, so we'll go to all the weeknight home games for a week, then not go for a while. Baseball schedules are funny. It's almost surprising how much I've picked up about baseball, but, I did play softball -- all good little dykes did, right? Zilla played in high school, so she's much more advanced than I ever was. She wants to buy gloves, balls, bats, etc and start playing in our backyard. Which would be okay, except that we live in the ghetto. Her homeless guy at work told her that we live in the 'jungle' and need to get out, soon.

Actually, I agree with that. Completely. More and more as time goes on. The neighborhood wasn't too bad last summer, and it was completely quiet over the winter. But since it's started getting warm again, it's gone downhill. A few weekends ago, there were gun shots; someone has started egging parked cars; yesterday afternoon, we completely saw a little boy pissing out the second story window of the building across the street. And he was completely old enough to know better than that.

I finished my first swap. It was interesting. A little stressful. The person I was gifting was soosososo different from me; I had no idea what to do. I'm okay with acrylic yarn (I prefer it, actually - wool makes me sneeze and cotton has very little give!) and I was totally stressing out about the gift not being good enough. Just who I am. And then I got my gift, and it was okay. I liked the package I sent better, but. You know. It's hard to give someone a thoughtful gift when you don't know anything about them. And I don't put much out there. Well, haven't. Working on that. The next one has started, and I'm totally stoked about this one. I think I'll be able to relate more, and I've got an awesome idea. I think she'll love it. That's exciting.

I've spent most of the weekend multi-tasking. I've been mudding more on the weekends, which I haven't done regularly in ages. Of course, it's different this time. I'm a little more into it, and I'd like to build an area. I'm working on themes, characters, plots, etc in my head while I play. An intersection of math/science/computer nerd and creative design. What's better than that? But, I start killing a mob, or start a quest, then I pick up the knitting/crocheting and do that until it's time to press a button again. It works.